you take up so much space

There are people who have come into my life
and made their own space,
a room of sorts,
and they decorate it with their own pictures,
a table, some books, a few items that say
I am here
for a while.
Some people take a seat on the couch
and linger
for a cup of coffee...
but they don't bring any chairs or pictures.
They might carry a mug for the visit
but they take it with them when they leave.
There have been some who just needed to take something
from my life, so I gave them a few of
my blankets, my favorite plates, my bookshelf.
Maybe I gave them more than they deserved
but I didn't know that at the time.
These people sometimes leave
marks on the walls, scratches on the floor,
a mess in your heart.

But you...
You are building a home in my life.
Not a room, not a spot on the couch,
but your own home.

You take up so much space,
sometimes it scares me, so vast,
but the most beautiful space...
so different than the others.
There are windows and light and
it's always changing, growing and
you bring
more of yourself here each day.
It doesn't feel crowded or stuffy
even in the darkest of times.

It's warm, cozy...
safe and strange all at once...
and I never want you to take your pictures,
your coffee mug,
or any of the pieces of you.
Bring everything.
Stay.
Stay for longer than a while.

some india love

Some things I love right now about our India adventure...

Less than one month left here in India. I am trying to take more pictures, to soak it all up, trying not to miss...well, anything. Last weekend our friends took us on a lovely adventure, we saw a temple and also went up to a beautiful fort. (pics above from both places) We also got to eat dinner with the beautiful Rajashree Choudhury, Bikram's wife, that was so much fun! One of the highlights of the trip for me, she was so delightful and easy to talk to and I wish we'd had more time with her. Tonight we have been invited to celebrate Diwali at our student's home, he and his wife both practice the yoga. It's amazing to me how welcoming and kind so many of the people are here, they have treated us like royalty and made us feel right at home. I will miss our students very much.

Happy Diwali everyone, enjoy your day!

Love from India.

 

inspired

This is what inspires me right now.

And this.

 

This.

The story is that Robert Sturman, photographer, ran into Meghan Currie, yogi, at a cafe in NY....

she had a yoga mat, he asked her where she was going to do yoga...

and then they walked out into the city and made art. 

I can't stop looking at these pictures, I find them completely stunning.

For more inspiration by Robert Sturman, go here.

If you're like me, and have a mini yoga crush on Meghan Currie after seeing these photos, go here. 

Love from India.

wide open

Only a short time left...do I rejoice or cry?
On the way to the studio today, walking along the streets before
the chaos, the people, the traffic
I feel a rush of emotion and my eyes are suddenly
wet.
This place has dug deep and
buried herself inside me in ways I don't even understand.
Altered me.
Scared and angered me and then
amazed and blessed and humbled me.
As I near the end of this adventure,
dear India,
may my eyes stay wide open,
open my eyes.
May my heart stay wide open,
open my heart.

 
Love from India

Maru the cat makes being sick better.

As someone who does not usually get sick, I am officially admitting that I am sick. Ugh. The weather has been strange here, very muggy and heavy and I think this is the culprit...that and I think my body is probably ready for a break soon! (only a few more weeks now!) It's strange having days off from my yoga practice but it's good for me to learn to listen to my body...isn't that what I teach my students in the room anyways?? Sometimes practicing what I preach is the toughest part of all.

One good thing about being sick...you get to watch awesome, pointless You Tube videos like the one below. Seriously, even if you don't love cats, you will laugh out loud when you see this one. This cat is weird. And awesome. Just watch it.

Love from India.

Mirrors. Love. 90 Minutes.

Bikram Yoga is a 90 minute class practiced in front of mirrors. Lots of mirrors. Mirrors in front, sometimes mirrors to the side, mirrors behind, it depends on the studio. But always mirrors in front. When I first started practicing this yoga, I found it unnerving to stare at myself for 90 whole minutes. That's a long time in front of a mirror. Especially for someone who, when starting, had a less than stellar self image and never liked the image looking back at her from said mirror. So stepping into a class and being told at the beginning of the class, "Focus one point on yourself in the mirror. Don't move your eyes. Don't blink your eyes."...yeah right. Are you kidding me, lady? But there were all of these people in class doing it! I was amazed. I remember that part of being a beginner...the awe I felt for those students in the front row (so darned close to those mirrors!) who had this intense focus on themselves the whole class. 90 minutes, looking straight ahead, no distractions, complete stillness...it intimidated me to no end. I wanted that too. I wanted that confidence, that focus, to stare at myself, to see myself in the mirror. To see my strengths, my beauty and my flaws and to keep staring. 

So I kept coming to class. More and more, at first a few times a week and then at least 5-7 days per week. I was addicted. And I was determined to find my focus, to look in the mirror for 90 minutes...to see (and I didn't know it at the time) and to love what I saw looking back at me. Honestly, when I started this yoga, I had no idea what I wanted to get out of it, nor did I think that it would give me all that is has or open my eyes so wide.

I can't tell you exactly when it happened...I know that it was a gradual process. But through my practice, I have found more confidence, more self-love, more focus than I ever imagined. I can stare at myself in the mirror, for 90 minutes at a time, with love, with compassion but also with truth. The mirror doesn't lie. It tells me when my ego has joined me on the mat, when I've brought my worries into the room with me and also when I need to give myself a break. I still have classes where I see things that I don't like, of course, and the old voices try to resurface and take control. But they don't last long, not anymore, as I've gained too much strength in my mind and also my body and that makes me feel beautiful.

When I see my foot coming up over my head in Standing Bow, that is beautiful. When I lock my knee and kick my leg out in Standing Head to Knee, that is powerful. When I have sweat rolling into my eyes and I stand in stillness, that is focus. When I look at myself in the mirror at the end of my 90 minutes, no matter what kind of class I've had, that is pure joy. Because I've found the focus, the concentration...and most important, the love. For me, for all that I am and all that I am working to become.


"Bikram Yoga is the first time you start loving yourself because it's the first time you start seeing yourself." Rajashree Choudhury


Love from India.

Sleepy and my new obsession

So sleepy...
Some days just leave you bone tired. 

Today was one of those days. But in a good way, 

where I feel like I gave my all when I taught my classes today, 

I practiced my heart out 

and can now sleep sleep a beautiful sleep.

But before I close my eyes, I have to ask...

have you heard of First Aid Kit?

If not, please fix that and listen here. As soon as you can. 

Two sisters with amazing voices, I can't stop listening. 

They are my current music obsession.

Wherever you may be, enjoy your day to the fullest!

Love from India.