a wild broken heart

She wondered if she would
ever grow tired of
the quiet cracking, splitting, breaking
of her heart.
Each rip a reminder (a caution of sorts)
that she was well and truly
breakable...
Fragile, if she was being honest.

Some might say she was
foolish,
a naive woman with
a wild, broken heart.

She wondered if they might be right.
Maybe a lock made sense
or a cage to keep
connection at bay.
A simpler way to live..
and this way meant less risk of
shattered pieces,
less chance of
broken fragments
scattered with yet another
lost love.

So she tried living in the cage
and she locked up her
wild, broken heart.
But it was never meant
to be tamed.
It kept her awake
with songs of
freedom and longing
and love.

She understood that her heart knew better
and in that moment
there was no cage or lock,
no bars or armour
to guard her
achingly beautiful,
eternally hopeful
wild, broken heart.

And she knew that
she would never grow tired of this
endless dance,
this miraculous journey lead by her
powerful heart compass.

Some might call her journey dangerous,
even say she was crazy...
but she would choose
wild and free,
love and light,

over a life with a cage any day.
She would choose a wild, broken heart.

Love from Oz.

the light of dance and breath

It began as a way to survive,
the control and restriction,
the self punishment and starvation.
It was a way to stay small...on so many levels.
A secret and slow fading away.

At times, I truly thought it was a kind of
freedom.
A freedom from everyone else's way.
A freedom from the right way, the only way.
But now I see it was actually the opposite,
chains, a cage, clipping my wings so there could be
no chance of flight.

In the midst of the control, fear and self-loathing
I found movement with breath,
strength in the slow, steady beat of my heart,
beauty in my imperfectly perfect self.
I found yoga.
Thank you Universe
for sending me the light of dance
and breath....
for finding a way to connect my heart to my body
and my soul to my truth.

In yoga I have become a woman who loves her own body,
the way it feels when I reach for the sky with my fingertips...
the way it feels as I hug the earth with my belly and heart.
I have become a woman who delights in the sensation of
sweat slipping down my skin,
heart pounding in my chest
and the breath leading each moment.
Each breath is leading me to
a deeper connection to freedom.

If life before yoga was empty and starving
it's now full of light, love, laughter and play...
It's full of movement, growth and an ever expanding
desire to leave the old layers behind.
As I move and flow I release the chains
and unlock the cage around my heart.
In yoga I am more connected to my
playful spirit and the call of my wild beautiful soul.

I no longer need the control of my anorexic mind.
The power her voice once held is gone and instead
I hear music.
It's the song of freedom
and I'm dancing
dancing
dancing
with gratitude for this life.


Love from Oz.
All Rights Reserved - Chrissy Beth